can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
