She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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