margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
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