So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
