walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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