I want to make a zoo with you.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize