girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
