I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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