drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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