He kissed a someone with a penis
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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