And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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