You just made me feel so damn special
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize