those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
