Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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