i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
