He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
