forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sext me about skeletons
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
