it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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