I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
