I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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