32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
