She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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