We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
