i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
