Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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