i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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