you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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