but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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