I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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