Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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