i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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