Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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