ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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