Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
