Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
