I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
