Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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