a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize