Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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