so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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