I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
babies were throwing up all over the place
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
