I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
