So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
