i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
