just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
