we made out on top of his cat.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
