lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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