I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
