i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
BRING THE BAGELS
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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