It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
