We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
