Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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