so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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