billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
