ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
