I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
