I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
