yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
