No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
