fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His hands were made for my vagina.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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