You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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