i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
