i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
