Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dignity is for republicans.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
